#3 As a Child

My memory of childhood is a little spotty. I think I blocked quite a bit out for my own sanity.
I remember living in a specific trailer park, across from a gas station my mother worked at. My father was kind of in and out of our lives. He walked out on us countless times, and I remember him cheating on my mother, and raping my mother at night while I lied awake in my bed. But he had some sort of hold over my mother, she always took him back every time. I'm not sure if it was because she loved him or feared him. I lean more towards fear, she isn't exactly mentally the strongest individual.
I started pre-k at a primary school. I only remember going for a few weeks. I think it was then that we moved to a new state. We moved in with my mother's sister, just my mother, me, and my 2 sisters. I believe it was to get away from my father's harassment. My mother had decided to leave him for good. I remember being there for Christmas. But I'm pretty sure we moved back to our home state before Easter, my mother went back to the jerk.
I think this way when we moved in with my paternal grandparents. At the time I kind of liked my grandparents, and I loved the neighborhood. We were living on a circular road, so I would ride my bike around the whole circle, around 2 miles. There were some kids just a few doors down that I would play with. I had started elementary school and rode the bus with them. I didn't know it at the time, but it was a foster family.
At some point we moved to a new trailer park. We stayed in that trailer until I was 13. My father lived with us there for a while. I think it was around this time that my father walked out on us, and ended up in Pennsylvania, a long way from home. He had a baby by another woman. I found out later in life that he supposedly raped the woman. I don't doubt it.
But when I was in third grade my parents split up again and filed for divorce. I wasn't exactly crushed, but apparently one of my sisters was. I'm not sure about the other sister.
 I'm not sure where my father lived at first. But I remember 2 houses that he stayed in for a while. Eventually we had to go stay with him every other weekend. My oldest sister didn't have to go, I think she was over 18, because she's 10 years older than me. The entire time, my father was still molesting me every other weekend.
I remember my mother getting frustrated because every time I came home, I was an angry brat for days. She never seemed to understand why. I would say that it was because I didn't want to come home. But I definitely didn't want to be staying with my father. I think I was angry about what was happening to me. And even more angry that my mother didn't seem to know what was going on and wasn't protecting me.
Now I'm getting upset, so I think I'm done for the night...